Yin & Yang: A Summer Journey/2010

Budda Biker

Jazz on Tammy's ride

This summer’s motorcycle journey was one of self-acceptance. A new appreciation of the opposite and expansive forces of Yin and Yang riddled every curve in the road. Experienced outside of myself, Yin and Yang were separate and opposing forces, but experienced within myself they became a unified expansive force. The open road, nature and humanity… made me a Buddha Biker!

Heading north out of the heat of New York City, my first stop is a log cabin with a view of the Catskill Mountain range to visit my cousin, her husband and 2-year old little girl Becky. With big brown eyes that always made contact with mine, Becky showed me her life and shared her toys always watching to see how I would react. She would look at me with such pure wonder, as if trying to see inside me. Her affection had depth and tenderness. I rode away feeling touched by an angel… a Yin experience.

Next stop, the welcomed cooler temperatures of Montreal. A home nestled in the most amazing cultivated garden of my friend, her husband and 3-year old little boy Jazz. Met with a shy uncertainty, Jazz interacted with his parents mostly, giving me occasional glances that matured slowly into a slightly daunting stare. After a nights rest, however, Jazz was ready to play… it was power play. Swords, bats, fists, the arsenal of little boy weaponry mounted until the umbrella point poised to stab me with came out… Dad stepped in! Thank goodness. Once we rested Jazz says, “come on, you want to fight again?” His affection was expressed by choosing me as the subject of his conquest. I rode away feeling overwhelmed… a Yang experience.

Now to the heart of my journey, riding through the northern lakes of the Adirondack Mountains. The trees majestic in size make me feel small while the awesome silence makes me feel an integral part of the whole. I weave through the Olympic Village of Lake Placid feeling like an Olympian, a child of God. Supported by the Great Mother Earth and guided by the Heavenly Father. The peace of the big mountains penetrated my being. As I arrived at my friend James’ home on the hillside of Lake Champlain I felt both empowered and stilled.

Greetings, a few stories shared, good food and red wine conclude the day. James and I sit staring at the stars, feeling the cool northern breeze, and suddenly my body feels this spiraling sensation. I don’t know this feeling! What’s happening? Within thirty minutes my body is spinning with nausea and by the nights end I loose, what appeared to be, all nourishment I’d ingested since I rode out of NYC. I was down!

For the next two days I feel fragile, tender footed. I stay close to the mountain, I lean on my friend and I experience a part of myself I wasn’t familiar with. A weaker, slower, soft-spoken girl who needed help was now expressing herself. The tough tomboy who’s just biked through the wilderness and has dominated my life is a bit bewildered by my affectionate response to this new persona within. I like her. And the more I like her the more empowered I become. Still dazed, my entire being is expanding until a hush calms my bewilderment. Becky’s tender depth and Jazz’ over whelming need to conquer both live within me. As I accepted both the Yin and the Yang of myself, without judgment or distain, I could stop trying to be more me and could start simply being me. I was overcome by a presence. It felt as if I embodied the awe of the mountains.

My journey home had a soft strength. As I reenter my life I feel changed by this cathartic experience. I am more I than ever before.

I thank all who supported the journey and all who witnessed it. In love and light, Tammy